Why can't I keep my house clean?

No matter how much effort I put into tidying up, it seems like the mess just creeps back in within days or even hours. Kids had an inspiration for a creative project? Mess. Cooked a nutritious meal? Mess. You did nothing at all? Mess.

I know I'm not alone in this struggle. Many people find it challenging to maintain a clean and organized living space amidst the chaos of daily life. Between work, family responsibilities, and personal time, cleaning often takes a backseat. Yes, especially those of us who got it seemingly together in all other areas of life.

As an ambitious working single mother of two kids, let me tell you - cleaning is goddamn hard and by the end of the working day the last thing I want to do is load a dishwasher. And often I don't. I go to bed with a sink full of dishes and laundry piles up. Then, the next day I have a choice: I can either fix it before I had my morning coffee or gamble and let it sit there till the evening in the hopes I'll have some energy left to do that.

Why is cleaning so hard?

More often than not as soon as my place passes the threshold of "it's not that messy yet" it falls right into "I don't even know where to start". And when I do somehow push through exhaustion and overwhelm and collect the trash, load the dishes and turn on laundry - it comes back to the same or worse state in no time thanks to cats or kids or some perfectly-timed accident.

And so one problem: "I have a messy house" becomes several:

• I am uncomfortable in my own space
• I am resentful and sad that my efforts are undone
• I am exhausted and overwhelmed
• I feel like a failure as a parent and adult

I strongly believe that if cleaning would be easy, everyone would do it. But it's not. It's hard work that requires time, energy, and mental bandwidth - all of which are often in short supply. We have challenging complex lives and make thousands of decisions every day. Cleaning adds more 30,000 of these:

• Do I clean now or later?
• Do I clean this or that first?
• Do I involve the kids or do it myself?
• Do I use this cleaning product or that one?
• Do I focus on one room or do a little bit everywhere?
• Do I declutter or just tidy up?

Looking from this perspective, procrastination is more of a coping mechanism than a character flaw. It's a way to conserve our limited resources for more important tasks or simply to avoid the stress and overwhelm that comes with cleaning.

Doesn't get the job done though, does it?

So what can we do about it?

At some point my apartment was so messy - I was terrified to invite anyone over, including my closest friends and even cleaners. I felt ashamed and isolated. Eventually I did push through this fear and hired a cleaning service - just to be asked to pick the stuff from the floor before they come. It was humiliating, but also a wake-up call. I realized that I needed to make some changes in my approach to cleaning if I wanted to create a more livable and enjoyable home environment.

I'd be lying if I said that I have all the answers, but I am definitely much better with keeping a tidy home now than I was then. Here's what I've learned so far:

• Stop blaming yourself. A messy house is not a reflection of your worth as a person. It's simply a reality of life. The mess will come back even if you don't do anything to contribute to it. You are not a failure for struggling with it.
• Separate planning from doing. Don't jump right into cleaning when you feel overwhelmed. Take a moment to plan your approach. Break down the task into smaller, manageable steps. Decide what needs to be done first and create a simple checklist to follow.
• Set realistic goals. There's a saying: "If you complete your todo list you didn't need it in the first place". Don't aim for perfection. Instead, focus on making small improvements over time. Doing a little bit each day is better than trying to do everything at once and getting burnt out.
• Celebrate small wins. Every time you make progress, no matter how small, take a moment to acknowledge and celebrate it. This will help build momentum and motivate you to keep going.

I even came up with an acronym for that: iPREP

• Idea - "Would be nice to finally get rid of moving boxes in the bedroom"
• Plan - "There are 6 boxes, I can sort through the first 2 today, it's mostly clothes, so I would need donation bags and wardrobe space for each item"
• Refine - "Actually, I'll do the bigger box first since clearing floor space will make the room immediately feel better"
• Execute - "Set a timer for 15 minutes and just start with the first box, then one more"
• Praise - "I did it! The bedroom looks so much better already and I no longer need to dive in the box to find things!"

Try it out, I found out that planning removes a lot of friction and stress from the process as the cleaning itself becomes a brainless mechanical task.

Not sure how to get started?

I found Hounty Cleaning Gallery to be a great tool for deep cleaning or organizing specific areas of my home. After all, that's exactly why I created it!

The process is simple:

1. Choose an area of your home that needs attention (e.g., kitchen, bathroom, bedroom).
2. Take a wide photo of the area to document its current state.
3. Find small "bounties" you'd like to clean and take pictures of them.
4. Clean each bounty one by one, taking "after" photos to track your progress.
5. Finally, take a wide "after" photo to see the transformation.

By breaking down the cleaning process into smaller, manageable tasks and visually tracking your progress, Hounty makes it easier to stay motivated and see the results of your efforts. The before-and-after photos give you that dopamine hit of visible progress, which helps break through the overwhelm when you don't even know where to start. Give it a try and see if it works for you!

Another tool that helps me is a visual timer like Kvart. This one is also my creation - it's absolutely free and works great for setting cleaning sprints. Just set it for 10-15 minutes and focus solely on cleaning during that time. When the timer goes off, take a break or stop for the day. You'll be surprised how much you can accomplish in a short amount of time when you're fully focused.

Remember, keeping a clean house is a journey, not a destination. It's okay to have messy days and setbacks along the way. The important thing is to keep trying and finding strategies that work for you. With patience, persistence, and the right mindset, you can create a home environment that brings you joy and comfort. Happy cleaning!